Blog: Becoming ‘Clare the Counsellor’: another hat to wear with pride

Becoming ‘Clare the Counsellor’: another hat to wear with pride
25th August 2026
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Reflecting on the many jobs I have I have had over the decades of my working life (I know, I am making myself sound ancient!), there has been one career choice that kept me there for many years despite its many challenges: teaching. Even though I still do a bit here and there for one amazing school, I left full-time teaching in 2016, fairly disillusioned with the profession and the place I was working at with its toxic leadership, knowing I had more to give but knowing it did not necessarily lie in a school. Reflecting on what I most enjoyed about my long teaching career was the need to help, the need to provide consistency and support to those that needed it, the need to provide grounding when chaos reigned, the need to empower those that couldn’t or wouldn’t believe in themselves, the need to listen with meaning and genuineness and reflect back and validate those thoughts and feelings, and the need to find manageable solutions and win-win situations without confrontation but with strength and self-awareness. I think it was inevitable that I would find myself entering the counselling profession. There are many reasons why I became a counsellor, and many ways in which this work continues to shape and inspire me to continue to help adults, young people and children.

I find human beings such amazing and unique creatures. Each and every one of us has a different personality, a different history, different life events and experiences, a different narrative, all of which make up who we are. I am continuously amazed by people’s resilience and hope in the face of adversity and genuinely interested in the people I meet, their life experiences and to find out what makes them tick. I believe everyone should have the chance to lead the life they want, but as we all know, life is full of ups and downs, and for some, more downs than ups. For me, effective counselling begins with seeing the whole person with their history, strengths, vulnerabilities, relationships, and context; it is more than reducing them to a problem or symptom. If I can give them the safe space, empathy and understanding or practical support that makes a difference and helps them move them towards their goals and contentment, then that to me is worthwhile. It gives me a sense of purpose, achievement and gladness if I have made even a small difference in that journey.

As a society, I think we have isolated and fragmented ourselves from shared family and community support. Too many people feel alone with little support in place when things go awry. To know that someone is battling with their thoughts and emotions or mental state which are pushing them deeper down and losing themselves, then I naturally want to help. As a teacher, I have seen so many young people struggle and it is heartbreaking to think they are going into adult life like this. How will they manage? They are our future, and we must give them every bit of support they need to navigate life and its complexities. What a child experiences when growing up is so incredibly significant to their adult development. When working with adults, there is often reference to their childhood experiences and relationships and the long-term impact this has had on them, on their identity, their approach to relationships, their self-identity and self-esteem; the ‘impact list’ is long and often buried. Life has shown me that people thrive when they feel safe, seen and heard, and so my counselling approach is not just about confidentiality but emotional safety too, knowing they will not be judged, rushed or dismissed but accepted for who they are.

Helping others is about giving back. I feel I have had a fortunate life: a good upbringing, a good education, good jobs and good opportunities (yes, I am that optimistic ‘the glass is half full’ kind of person!) but I have worked hard for everything I have achieved and experienced challenging times along the way. I feel I have come through them, wiser and with better perspective, with an understanding why sometimes people need timely help, a listening ear and a space to share. As humans, we are social creatures and we do not fare well without human compassion and understanding and acceptance. I feel we all have a social responsibility and that we should help others when they are experiencing distress, the human response to life’s pressures, losses, transitions, and relational wounds. It is not something to be pathologised or hidden so my counselling approach is grounded in compassion and curiosity: What has happened to this person? What strengths have helped them survive so far? What do they need now?

Counselling is a personal journey of discovery, usually sought at times of despair, pain, uncertainty or bewilderment. By creating the right environment and using my skills and lived experience, I can walk with the client on their journey, supporting, helping them explore the painful, the problems, the challenges in a supported way which allows the client to make sense of their experiences and recognise patterns, address issues in their own time and find their own solutions and find themselves, gently challenging what no longer serves them.

Some changes will come about naturally during the counselling process; other changes may take time. The need for respect, openness and honesty, empathy, and acceptance helps develop the most important aspect of the counselling room, that of the therapeutic relationship and trust. My own self-awareness, emotional regulation, and reflective practice shape the quality of the relationship. Without an effective therapeutic bond, it would be difficult to help the client build resilience, autonomy, and self-trust. Curlew Counselling is the space for exploration, but it is also a place where people learn to listen to themselves, make choices that align with their values, and carry these insights into their everyday life. In essence, I offer a grounded space at Curlew Counselling shaped by gentleness, curiosity and respect, a space where people can explore their inner world, reconnect with themselves, and move toward a life that feels more authentic and meaningful. There are many reasons why I became a counsellor, and many ways in which counselling continues to shape me. It holds deep meaning in my life, and it’s why I remain committed to supporting adults, young people, and children as they navigate their own challenges and growth.

There are many reasons why I became a counsellor, and many ways in which counselling continues to shape me. It holds deep meaning in my life, and it’s why I remain committed to supporting adults, young people, and children as they navigate their own challenges and growth.